I had been working out really hard the entire week! Each of my workouts began with a pre-workout shot of Nitraflex by GAT. I had seen many results with my combination of determination and a boat load of caffeine. Some of the best workouts of my young life were in that week. I was seeing results and I was in the best shape of my life. On Wednesday November 23rd, 2016 I had woke up like any other day, feeling great and preparing myself for success. I stopped by the convenient in order to get a pick-me-up which was usually a Monster energy drink. I had gone to bed late and woke up early so I was tired like every other day of my adult life.
I went to work and I worked over 10 hours that day. Most parts of me wanted to skip the gym and go home and fall asleep. I had to be in a routine so I knew I could fight through and have a great workout. I had gone to the health bar in LA Fitness like I had been doing all week. Today there was no Nitraflex. I went with the alternative pre workout which was C4. I had an excellent workout! When I went home, the real fun began!
I went home and had jumped in the shower to clean of my sweaty self. What came next, I was not expecting. I became a little uneven and my heart started to race. I rushed to the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror to make sure I wasn’t overreacting. I saw my heart trying to beat out my chest and I about lost it. I looked over to my wife and told her to drive me to the hospital. This sent me into a full on panic attack which I did not know at the time. I got to the hospital and the doctor told me that my blood pressure was at stroke level. And I said, “You’re the doctor, do something about it”. I didn’t say that, but I wanted to. Instead of getting me help they decided to put me on blood pressure medication which they later said was not the problem.
The next year of my life was complete hell. I was not eating because I was scared the food would send me into a panic attack; I was not working out because I thought my heart would beat out my chest and it would send me back to the hospital; and I was not determined to do anything because all the plans and goals I had just disappeared. These were the darkest moments of my life by far. It was the first time in my life that I had been scared of death. When my panic attacks arose, I was short of breath, my chest felt heavy, and it felt as if death was following me. I could barely go out in public without thinking of the worst possible scenarios. At this time, I was going through the motions; so scared of death that I was not living. These feelings are all signs of depression which I fell deeply in to. I never had suicidal thoughts, but I know there are many people who do.
I am here to tell you that there are people here to help you through these things. These organizations include,
- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention- 1-800-273-8255
- Freedom From Fear- 1-718-351-1717
- Anxiety Disorders Association of America- 1-240-485-1001
- National Alliance on Mental Illness- 1-800-950-6264
And there are many more. This is a disease that affects over 300 million people worldwide. So don’t be afraid to get help, I want you to live your best life along with all the people that you hold dear. Do not let this disease win, we must fight back! In Rocky, Sylvester Stallone said, “Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!” We all go through things in life, but it’s how you react to these situations that make us winners. Always remember that you are not alone!