In life we are going to have this hump that we must get over. For some of us it is food, for some it is exercising, and for others it may be calling others names or lashing out at people. What these things have in common are the fact that they control how we feel internally! Although these are external activities, each of these make us feel like crap on the inside! These behaviors can ruin relationships, lower our self esteem, and some may have pretty big consequences such as disease.
It should be pretty simple to change things that make you feel this way, right? If you know what you’re doing is having a negative effect, you should want to change it. Sometimes it is easier said than done. In order to change a behavior, you have to understand what is causing the behavior and come up with a solution to solve this problem.
First, you have to figure out what is causing you to behave this way, which is what I call the trigger. For the longest time when my wife would tell me to pick up my shirt or to pick something up and I would lash out and say something like, ” you never pick up your crap either.” I would practically scream this! When I noticed how big of a problem this was I began to identify that her saying pick that up was a trigger for me.
Now that I have identified the problem, what next? As I have said in previous articles; your unconscious brain controls most of your thoughts and behaviors! You must rewire your brain and tell it to think differently or react in a different way.
The next time this behavior occurs, your unconscious is going to tell your body to respond to it like you always do and you have to catch yourself in the process. If you catch yourself in the middle the first and second time, don’t be disappointed. This takes practice and you will get it. This means you are now aware of the behavior and the trigger.
This is the time where you tell your unconscious, “you are no longer in control, I am in control”. Now you are able to replace that negative behavior with a behavior that reinforces positivity. So in my case, when my wife tells me to pick something up, I say ” I am sorry for leaving that down there, but may you please pick it up for me and I will try not to leave it there again”. It changed my whole perception and even made my wife start to react in a different way. You cannot change people, but you can change yourself.
We are all slaves to our unconscious brain, but we don’t have to be. Traditional mindsets might not mind it, but if you’re anything like me you want to think freely and you want to be in control of your thinking and the behaviors that directly affect you; especially when you are able to control them! Change your behaviors, change your life! Stay woke my friends!