We all have people in our lives that want to be in control of everything. They control how loud the music is, what type of music is playing, where we go to eat, what we eat, etc. This person is usually known as the “bossy” one. They can never hear anyone else because they are always talking. They are dogmatic in many approaches to life. They believe that their way or the way they heard is the right way. For many of us who think their are wide ranges of possibilities in the universe will disagree with everything this person stands for!
With all that being said, the most mind blowing thing is that he or she is not even in control of their own mind. They are a slave to habits, rituals, and traditions. Some habits and rituals allow us to fight through the hard days and still make it to the gym, or overcome tiredness in the morning to go for your morning walk. These usually aren’t the things that we associate with that “bossy” person.
Most of these individuals act that way because they did it a couple times when they were a child and these thoughts and actions molded them into who they are today. When Susie called Timothy ugly and the whole class laughed, Susie felt the gratification from her peers; or so she thought. She continued belittling people because she thought it would make her look cool, but when she got older that wasn’t the case.
If Susie doesn’t become aware of her actions, she could have constant struggles in relationships, friendships, parenting, and other aspects of life. In order to change her bad habits of being a mean girl, she has to challenge her thoughts. The next time Susie has a thought that is taxing to someone’s emotional health, she may have to stop and think about what triggered that thought, and then ask herself, “do I really need to say this?”
As time goes on, she will realize she was bringing so much negative energy to herself which was having consequential effects in everything she did.
Every now and then my wife would ask me a question and I would say something sarcastic and rude because I found the question to be out of my realm of knowledge. For example, she would say, “hey babe, why do turtles lay eggs on the beach? What happens when the turtles are hatched and reach the oceans?” My response is, “does it look like I’m a marine biologist?” She either gets mad or we laugh about it.
When I reacted in that way; I wasn’t solving a problem or answering a question in my case, I was making her feel insecure or ashamed like she asked a dumb question. Now, if she asked that question I say, “I’m not sure babe, let’s find that out.” You can see the change in how she reacts and how I feel. It will change your entire relationship. Now you all are working in tandem and not butting heads.
All areas of your life can change by changing your thought process. In some instances it may be corny and a bit frightening because you don’t know how the other person will react, but if you keep practicing and challenging your thoughts, you will see how well your brain adapts to the new and positive changes. You have the power to control your thoughts! With that being said, stay woke my friends!