According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, nearly 20 people per minute are abused by an intimate partner (2019). Because most men are physically stronger than women, the assumption is that all abuse comes from men. While a lot of abuse do come from men, women often delight in showing a man that she is fearless!
When we love someone we like to jump into a relationship where love isn’t the only thing keeping us together. Love wasn’t enough; we wanted legal ramifications so that we can bind our money and assets together. Wait, but what if you make $6 million and she makes $0, or vice versa? Say goodbye to $3 million!
Remember in the 19th century when you could come home to a clean house and dinner on the table; your wife waiting for you with a big smile in her face? Well those days are gone. In many households both parents have to work because the cost of living is rising, and the average salary is exactly the same. Now that means women have a say (which they should) in everything that goes on in the home. Men have not found how to cope with the balance of power.
Now men, women (if you are married to a woman), you have a couple of options of how to deal with your wife who is bullying you after understanding everything I have previously stated.
1. You can choose to be in the “traditional” woman’s role. What does this mean. You come home, prepare dinner, cook dinner, wash the dishes, and treat your wife like the queen she is! By the way if you have children you have to give them a bath, feed them, help with homework, or do whatever else parents do.
2. You can shut up and agree with everything that happens. This is known as avoidance of conflict. This will be amazing in the short term, but as time goes on, you will find yourself resenting you’re wife because you never worked out your issues with how your household is run.
3. You can compromise. Compromise is a really good idea, but there are negatives related to compromise. For instance, most of the time people compromise and they end up not agreeing on things that are necessary for the relationship to grow. Also down the line you will eventually realize that compromising just means that you both sacrificed some of your beliefs because you wanted to make things work so bad. You will not like each other 20 or 30 years later.
4. You can freaking leave. Why is it that in relationships, people do everything, except leave? So many couples would be a lot happier if they weren’t a couple. So if you don’t love the dynamic between your wife and yourself; leave! While that sounds harsh, it will save you down the road, and a lot of built up anger and resentment.
5. You can look at your relationship as a process. She is bullying you because she is scared that if she stops bullying you, the relationship will change because the dynamics have changed. Sit down and talk to her. Explain that you would love for her to stop physically abusing you. You feel shame when admitting that you are being bullied by your wife, but there is no shame. If you love her, you will sit down and figure things out together. Call her beautiful when she comes home. Say YUM when she gets out the shower. Feed her anytime she looks at you. Most importantly send flowers to her job or stop by her job and give her the flowers to let her and every woman in her office know that she has the best husband.